The Legend of Zelda New Hero of Time Episode 14
by TheBigFanFics2000
Summary: In this episode, Tucker nd company make their way to lake Hylia to cause some more hilarious fictitious madness!


The New Hero of Time episode 14

Navi: Hey! You got it right!

(large explosion)

Navi: What the H.P. Lovecraft was that?

Chicken Little: The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Navi: Freakin' figures…

Last time on: The New Hero of Time! You already know, because you've already read it, and if you haven't why are you starting on episode 14? Quick, tell me, who is the leader of the Stalfos? Don't know? THEN GO BACK AND READ THE PARTS IN ORDER, TURKEY!!!

Tucker: Apparently, since we beat that dragon butthole, I guess we should go do something else, right?

Navi: Why don't we go clears out the next temple?

Tucker: Hmm, mmm, uhh, ummm… Nah, let's do something fun instead!

Link: Saving Hyrule isn't fun?

Tucker: Let's see, unless I'm getting laid, getting' some free time away from puzzles and not havin' to fight any giant monsters I'm all good.

Ivana: Yeah, and all of those are in the shadow temple!

Tucker: Baby, don't you mean the water temple?

Ivana: Water temple? The theme park?

Tucker: …Theme park? It's a theme park? Wait, is a theme park Hyrulian for boring-ass temple with lots of dumb stuff in it?

Ivana: No, it's Hyrulian for theme park, with roller coasters, funnel cakes and bumper cars…

Tucker: Roller coasters? Funnel cakes? BUMPER CARS? Why the hell are we standin' here? Let's go bump the hell out of some bumpin' noobs!!!!

Ivana: Noobs?

Tucker grabbed Ivana's hand and tossed her up into the air and caught her on his back, and took off toward lake Hylia. Link and Navi sprinted quickly to keep up.

Navi: Wait up!!!

Link: Slow down!!!

Tucker: Sorry, the first to ride those bumper cars is gonna be me!

Tucker suddenly stopped and Link and Navi ran into him and fell to the ground.

Ivana: What's wrong? Why did you stop?

Tucker: How do bumper cars work under water?

Navi: THAT'S WHY YOU STOPPED?!?!?!

Tucker: I was concerned, Navi…

Link: Can we just go?

Tucker: Well, you two seem to be in a bit of a grouch fest today…

Link: Stop being stupid, come on!

Tucker sneered at Link and kicked him in the shin and ran off.

Link: Darn you! COME BACK HERE!!!

Link and Navi ran off again after Tucker and Ivana. And as they all reached lake Hylia, Link and Navi stopped again at a large gate that was set up out front. Link looked over, as he saw no sign of Tucker or Ivana.

Link: Now where'd they go?

As Link looked around aimlessly, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around; expecting to see Tucker and Ivana standing there, but he instead saw a half dozen fully armored Darknuts and Iron Knuckles.

Link: What the Hyrule?

Navi: Where'd those guy go to sneaky school, I want to be that sneaky.

Iron Knuckle: You are Link, the hero of time, correct?

Link: Well, I'm Link, but I'm not the hero of time, that other idiot would be…

Darknut: HA! Really? We all know who you are, hero of time! Draw your sword and prepare to fight!

Link: I can't, the idiot kicked it into a pool of lava and it was destroyed… I was supposed to return that thing!

Navi: So, as you can see boys, it's not him, so go make friends with that tree over there, we're trying to get to the water temple!

Darknut: The water temple? The theme park?

Link: Yeah…

Darknut: Well what are we doing standing around here for? Let's go ride the Morpha Coaster!

Other Darknuts and Iron Knuckles: YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Link: Okay…

Navi: And I want a funnel cake!

With that, Link and Navi and all the Iron Knuckles and Darknuts ran off toward the theme park and they all enjoyed the many concessions and they all rode the Morpha Coaster together. After a few hours of fun, and two of the iron knuckles dropping a barf after the Tektite Fling, they all said goodbye to each other and Link and Navi found a park bench to relax on.

Link: Well, that was fun, but where the tuna fish sandwich did those two scatterbrains go?

Tucker: Who are you calling a scatterbrain?

Link: You, dummy…

Tucker: Huh? What?

Link: Oh, come on, I just- AHH! Yer impossible! Yer lucky I lost my sword or you'd get it right now!

Tucker: OOH! Get what? A car? A million dollars? What? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!

Link: You are the biggest retard I've ever known!

Tucker: What about Mido?

Link: You are the second biggest retard I have ever known!

Tucker: HAHA!! Nice one dude. Come on Ivana, let's go back to what we were doing!

Ivana: Okay, baby!

Tucker: See you two around!

Ivana: Bye!

Link: Aww, where are you going now?

Tucker: I believe she said: bye! So, goodbye! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Navi: Come one!

Tucker and Ivana walked off again, leaving Link and Navi alone again. As Tucker and Ivana turned a corner by the Spinning Goron ride, three shadows fell on them, and Tucker turned around as three hoodlums leapt from the shadows and surrounded them.

Goon: Well, well, well, what do we have here? The park's about closed! Time to leave!

Punk: Yeah, but the pretty Zora can stay with us!

Ivana: I don't like the looks of this, Tucker! What are we gonna do? Should we use our powers on regular people, we could really hurt them!

Tucker: Works for me!

Tucker ran toward two of the goons and punched one in the face as he kicked the other in the chest, knocking both of them back, onto the ground. The other goon grabbed Ivana and pulled a small knife out of his belt and put it to Ivana's throat. Tucker looked over quickly, and dropped the goon he had finished laying a beating to.

Tucker: Let her go! NOW!!!

Thug: Yeah, I don't think so…

Voice: But we do!

Thug: WHAT???

The thug looked over as the six Darknuts and Iron Knuckles leapt onto the third thug and beat the hell out of him. They all stood up as the thug lay beaten to a bloody pulp on the ground.

Darknut: YEAH! That was great! I love beating people up!

Iron Knuckle: Did you see how I kicked that guy's teeth out? That was awesome!

Tucker: Wow… You guys actually helped us out back there, what's the deal?

Darknut: What? Who are you?

Tucker: I'm Tucker, the hero of time! How ya doin?

Darknut: We're fine!

Tucker: Wow, yer actually the first people to answer that! HAHAHA!!!

Darknut: HAHAHA!!!

Tucker: This is fun! Funny enemies make me smile! Like butterflies, pretty ponies, flowers and gory war movies!

Ivana: Really? That seems so unlike you!

Tucker: No, no, I really does gory war movies, they really make me smile and laugh! HAHA!!!

Iron Knuckle: HAHA!!!

Tucker: You laughed just like me! You know what this means don't you?

Ivana: I know what it means!

Tucker: Then tell 'em what's up, baby!

Ivana: Me and Tucker get to have sex some more!

Tucker: Ehem…

Ivana: I mean the Iron Knuckles and the Darknuts are gonna join us on the adventure!

Iron Knuckles and Darknuts: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! AGAIN!!!

And so, Tucker, Ivana, Link and Navi seem to have gotten some more help in their supposedly never-ending quest to save the land of Hyrule, a bunch of surly monsters that like to beat people up! Who could ask for better friends?


End file.
